Family time is never wasted, especially in my case when I only have once a year family time! My mother was going through health struggles. My youngest sister was pulling the heavy rope and doing a wonderful job of helping mother and mother's husband Roy. I admired Deb's intuition and her skill at relationship negotiations. She said, "This was my job Linda - I did it at work." Maybe so, but it is always more difficult to maintain objectivity when we are assisting ones we love. I continue to admire her and her skills.
My week with mother was enjoyable and difficult. Enjoyable due to the fact that I had time to rest, time to detach from work mode, time to slow my mind and take notice of things. I took notice of the space everywhere - endless open spaces and most of family living in large places. I took notice of sunshine...so much sunshine, 16 days out of the 21 I was there.
Difficult because it caused me to acknowledge my own mortality.. my own potential future frailty
. We all know we will not live forever yet watching one's parent deal with being 80 and not well forces a reality focus.
I felt special with most of my sisters, brothers, nieces and nephews making an effort to come out and attend a family dinner arranged by my sister Carol. I felt blessed with such a family who have stayed close even as they expand with my nephews having children and cousins being friends and supporting one another.
Time spent with my own son and daughter and grandchildren was the best yet. Maybe because I went with no agenda except to enjoy time with them...to be with them in their space doing things they like. It would have been easy to fall into the 'fixer' role...my old controller role.
With my son has diabetes and struggles to manage it consistently and although I could easily be sad that he does not appear to be managing it well - I can chose to be happy that he has made an effort to welcome me into his home. He had prepared meals on three occasions and he wanted to take me quad-biking with the family, in the forest behind his property. He seemed especially happy back there and even had a laugh at one moment as I verbalized my nervousness as he navigated the Quad down a steep hill and I slid forward into his back. Photos were captured to keep these moments for future enjoyment.
With my friend-for-life Linda May, I enjoyed one on one sharing. She takes time to enjoy my photos and hear about my family times and I enjoy her photos and listen to her family's joy and pain. Our friendship has endured across the Atlantic and our lives so often mirror one another with Sons and daughters the same age and with the similar life issues.
I realize that all families have issues of one thing or another. People get ill, people die, people make successful choices and others don't . The fact remains that any choice is a personal one and subjective to the individual in the situation. We on the outside can support, when asked give our opinion and other than that... just demonstrate our love and unconditional acceptance.
As I stepped off the plane in Norwich, I felt my mans eyes on me from the other side of the terminal window. I could not see him due the the one side viewing but I could feel him watching me and I was excited to be home. Through the doors with my luggage and I spotted him sitting in the chair furthest away from the door. He spotted me at the exact moment and stood up walking to greet me. Such a warm embrace such a lovely kiss and another and another. Home is where the heart is. I wonder if I am the only one with so many places to call home.
